Recently I have started watching the show Hoarders. This show has now made me crazy with wanting to go through my whole house and purge everything.
The contrast between watching the hoarder show and then turning on the news and seeing the people of Haiti with nothing has left me with this desire to get rid of alot of stuff.
Yesterday, I was furiously tearing through my kitchen and now have bags and boxes ready to donate.
On the show I heard one of the Hoarders say she felt like she was drowning, and though I am not a hoarder, when I heard that I said to myself that's it!
That's what I am feeling.
and I started to think of my mom.
My mom was a funny lady. She was definetley not a hoarder. She was always very anal about her things. Everything had it's place, and was neat and tidy. She would come over to my house and help me organize my pantry or my linnen closet and when I didn't know what to do with something she would always say...
GET RID OF IT!
Growing up we had this one closet in our house that she always maintained. It was stocked full of household supplies and toiletries. It was organized like the shelves of a grocery store. When we would tease her about it, she would always respond that if anything ever happened to her my dad would be able to take care of himself for a while. Well, it's been over a year and I don't think he's had to buy anything but bread and milk!
Another funny thing she did was collect pretty litte things. For example, in this same closet there were towels we could use and towels we were NEVER to use, they were there so that when she opened the closet she could see something pretty.
When my mom passed I was the one who took care of her things. The summer before she passed I had taken her to see SEx and the City, the movie. She loved it, and left the movie saying she could'nt wait to go shopping, and that she wanted to buy and wear clothes like the character...
Samantha!
I know your thinking ... the sex pot one?
Yes, but, she didn't want the sexy so much as she wanted to mix and match clothes together that didn't neccessarrily go together.
That was not possible for her. Everything she EVER bought matched. Because we shopped so much she had quite the wardrobe. Purses and matching wallets, more accessories than you can imagine, and they all had matching outfits.
My mom never got to wear all the outfits she had put together.
I took all of her unworn things home with me.
I couln't let them go.
They were more than just clothes,
they were our unfinished buisness.
Dates, and events, places and times of things she looked forward doing that would now, never be done.
Before she left I told her I would wear them for her,
but I haven't.
Slowly I have given away a couple things here and there.
I think it's time to let them go.
I think it's okay with her too.
Mom passed on the 26th, yesterday was the 26th and I dreamnt I saw the most brilliant rainbow, so beautiful that I remember gasping aloud in my dream.
Today, I will gather the rest and remember the beauty and strength she showed as she gave her pretty little things away to those who had come to say goodbye to her.
Perhaps the people who recieve them will...
Have a change of clothing...
have something to put their belongings in...
have something new to wear to a job interview...
that wonderful feeling of a new outfit...
or maybe just to look at...
a pretty little thing.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at 01:55PM
